OMOTOLA JALADE EKEINDE STUNS IN NEW ADVERT FOR KONGA!

After just two days of being unveiled as the Brand Ambassadors of Pampers, alongside Super Dakore Egbuson, Omotola Jalade's other Ambassadorial Commercial Clip has just been released. As the face of Konga, Omotola embodies what being a starlet is all about, in her top-notch style, as represented in the advert. The sizzling hot mama of four is quickly proving herself to be the next big thing in the Celebrity endorsement business, which so far this year has been practically previously monopolized by her biggest competitor, Genevieve Nnaji.

Whitney Houston's Daughter Publicly Assaults Academy Award Winning Actress, Angela Bassett!

Recently, there has been much excitiment when highly acclaimed, and multi-award winning thespian, Angela Bassett, was announced to have been chosen to direct an upcoming biopic about  Grammy Award winning icon, Whitney Houston. However, Bassett has found herself in a bit of a sticky situation with the daughter of the deceased, when she recently stated in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that she had no intentions of ever casting Whitney's 21 year old daughter to play her iconic mother in the Lifetime biopic.

 Angela stated: I did not think about casting her. And probably for a number of reasons, you know. one being that she's not an actress. i know she's acted here and there, I know she's been on their family's reality show, but she's not an actress and acting is a craft. It's an attempt to illuminate the complexities of human behavior and life. And this is a very fast-paced schedule; we have just 21 days to tell this story. it's more than just saying lines and turning the lights on. You have to drive the story--there's a technical aspect."

Bobbi Kristina, only heir to the Whitney Houston dynasty, apparently, did not take this news very well, she immediately hopped on twitter to voice her opinion in the most inappropriate ways, calling Mrs. Bassett a "Basketcase" and claiming she actually might be a shemale... you know, a woman with a ding dong?...Here's what she wrote:

Ha MsAng "bassketcase" has such a damn nerve my lord, at least the world doesn't mistake me for the wrong sex...she has some #XtraEquipment."

Later on she added:

"When I win my first Grammy or Oscar, *Shrugs* hmm whichever comes 1st, I'll be sure 2shout URname out Bitch! Hah UrTestResults= Male. Lmao"

If, I thought Angela Bassett made the wrong choice not casting Bobbie Kristina before, I certainly don't anymore. What do you guys think?

Halle Berry Ordered By Court To Pay 16k A Month For Child Support!

Mother and Daughter



Father and Daughter
Academy Award winning actress Halle Berry has, as of yesterday, joined the ever growing league of Child Support payers which an astonishing sum of 16,000 USD per month, and over 100, 000 USD in owed child support! Ridiculously enough, since Halle and her "baby daddy" fashion model, Gabriel Aubrey ended their two year relationship in 2010, Halle has been the main parent taking care, and supporting their now six year old daughter, Nahla. 

Without any doubt, their ungoing battle for parental rights have sparked quite a few media uproars, many claiming that Halle was trying to forcefully keep the father of her daughter out of her life. Halle even went as far as trying to move to France with Nahla, until the court intervened, and her plans were put to an end. In an era when women are notoriously known for causing havoc over this child support issue, it is fascinating to see a man asking for funding from an ex-girlfriend.

Either way, considering the resurrection of Halle's career within the past two years of her starring in blow out, box office hits like The Call, and most recent of the X-men franchise, one can assume that the USD 16k asking price might not be so out of this world afterall. Moreover, what is a few hundred thousand dollars to an A-list Hollywood star?

D'BANJ SIGNS TONTO DIKEH TO HIS DB RECORD LABEL!

       The year seems to be picking up already for the young starlet that is, Tonto Dikeh. Just yesterday, the muti-award winning actress celebrated her 29th birthday, releasing promotional pictures via social media as a gift to celebratory fans. As if the outpour of love and support was not overwhelming enough, now, record breaking artist and producer D'banj has just confirmed via his Instagram that Ms. Dikeh has just been signed onto his label. The message of conformation was as follows:

“To my birthday mate and the Duchess of DB Records. Welcome to the LEE TEMPLE . Can’t wait for the world to see what we’ve been up to. I’m proud of u my daughter . #Pokolee #Tontolee #DBrecords” he said.

With many suggesting that D'banj's career is quickly plummeting, could this be a sign of his attempt to revive his record label? Is so, why Tonto Dikeh? Not to say the lady isn't talented at all, but if her singing abilities are still as they were before, then this might not be the best decision for DB Records. Then again, singing talents aside, Tonto Dikeh has just enough of that scandalous flare around her to keep her name and his label in the papers for a long while... and as we all know, keeping tongues wagging in the entertainment industry is just as essential as actual talent. The more people talk, the more records get sold. 

Anywho, What's your two cents about this recent development? Yay or Nay?

Cameroonian Militia Kills 102 Boko Haram Terrorists.

      With the continuous growth of concern surrounding the Boko Haram attacks of Northern Nigeria making headlines, the Nigerian government has gone publicly to state that it's neighboring nation Cameroon, has failed to assist in stopping the violent rampages. However, due to Boko Haram allegedly fleeing and taking residence in neighboring countries like Congo, Chad, Cameroon etc, Cameroon has taken lead and gone on the defensive.
    When President Paul Biya ordered 1,000 military officers to the Northern borders of Cameroon, to ensure that the terrorist sect does not invade the nation, or use it's grounds as a secret base for their operations. Within it's first active week in the battle against terrorism, Cameroonian militia has reportedly kill 102 armed Boko Haram members within the joining borders of Nigeria and Cameroon. This fact has brought upon a lot of backlash from Nigerians to Cameroon, several going on blogs to declare that Nigerian Military is better than Cameroon's so, the Reuters publication simply cannot be true. We must ask ourselves however if at a time of such unrest, our main focus should be on which nation's military is better, especially considering, the two nations are fighting towards the same goal of eradicating self-declared kidnappers, molesters and murders. We must all keep in mind that the most important part right now is not competition against each other, but alliance towards a common goal.

Jim Iyke Caught Cheating On Nadia Buari With Ex-Girlfriend, Keturah!

Amidst rumors of the separation of Nollywood's IT couple, Jim Iyke and Nadia Buari. Though their relationship has been a public spectacle, with many calling it a publicity stunt, the two actors have stuck to their guns, making efforts to prove that their love is, indeed, real, and that they have all intentions of proving the soothsayers wrong. Unfortunately, however, the relationship thus far has been rocked with non-stop rumors of infidelity on Jim Iyke's part, and has led to what is now rumored to be, Nadia's final farewell to Jim.
Below is an article published by Nigerian singer Emma Agu who resides in New York, accusing Jim of cheating on his current fiancee, Nadia, with ex-girlfriend Keturah. Futhermore, the two seem to have had a back and forth tussle, which Mr. Agu has also leaked to the internet, where Jim accuses Mr. Agu of being the separating factor between him and his girlfriend.

 Read and Enjoy:

The most sickest creep and a criminal that walk the face of the earth (Jim Iyke) called me some minutes ago and called me all kinds of names. He is accusing me of destroying his relationship with Nadia Buari.

This overrated son of a b***h with his amateurish acting skills thinks his name can bring any good to a writer or a blogger. The man with a tainted name, a rogue who has burnt every bridge he stepped on is trying to hold me responsible for what ever misfortune that has fallen him in the last 72 hours.

So this montebank sneaked into New York around 5am 3 days ago and did everything to keep it a top secret until the bubble bust right in front of him. When I got the hint that James was in Keturah’s house, I thought Keturah was lying . The girl said James came claiming that his relationship with Nadia Buari was over. She also said James (Jim) came to pick her up for Nigeria. I told her this guy might be lying.

When I got in touch with Nadia’s manager, he maintained that Nadia was aware Jim went to Miami and insisted that he (Jim) was no way near Keturah’s house.

Some hours ago, Jim called to insult me. Saying maybe I want to be famous. This writer started enjoying limelight, stardom and fame while Jim was maybe in Secondary School. He said I was the only man on earth he respected till today.

I have him on tape and will play it to my world audience by 8AM New York time, which should be 1PM Nigerian Time. I need everyone out there to listen and find out why Jim Iyke should be taken off the streets. The guy can never change. That deliverance by TB Joshua never worked. It was a fluke.

This guy is bipolar, a psycho who needs to see a doctor. I will get him arrested for making threats to my life. I have been expecting Keturah to give me the number with which Jim called since he blocked his number when he called. I will track him down right away.

This guy is a monumental disappointment, fraudster, liar and a cheat. Why is he so mad? The reason is simple. He is looking for a scapegoat. Jim should hold himself responsible for whatever happened to his relationship with Nadia Buari. On the other hand, Keturah Hamilton is no more available. The girl has moved on.

Emma Agu

On May 18, 2014, at 1:49 AM, Iktune wrote: Jim Iyke reply

OGA EMMA 

Read more of their private emails below:

• FROM JIM IYKE… DETAILS TO IKTUNE 

I’m lost Emma sending your article was supposed to make me scared? So much emotion! So much passion, so much bitterness. 

Lol, I must have wounded your self professed ego deeply. You sound like a  rejected child- man. Lol. Any body with his head firmly screwed on their shoulders can deduce this for what it us; the desperate act of a deeply troubled insecure man still suffering the throes of middle age crisis.
Keep entertaining truly intelligent people. We will wait your world news at 8. 

Looool 

I’m too focused on what I’m doing to dignify this. I thought there would be something new. I would have wished Karma on you but its already working overtime  in your life.
I expected this tantrums from your son but then again role reversals occur from  time to time.

I sympathize with him wherever he is. 
Good luck sir.

Sent from my iPad

• JIMIYKEUNTAMED 

SENT: SUN, MAY 18, 2014 1:18 AM
SUBJECT: RE: SO, YOU ARE A AN ANIMAL HUH?


Sent: Sat, May 17, 2014 11:53 pm
Subject: Re: so, you are a an animal huh?


I’ve been threatened by many men Emma. Run?! Anyone can see vendetta from a mile away. You make me laugh. You call yourself an ibo man? You’re a coward Emma. You’ve lost all the respect I had for you.

What’s the worse case scenario? You recorded me questioning your sanity? Who’s the animal now? Who’s the immature person. A man that purports himself a leader yet acts like a retarded child 

There’s nothing you can say or put out that hasn’t been done before. You re mad I refused to grant you interviews or suck up to your many gimmicks to kiss ass.

I can read selfish men from miles away. You’ve told me many things about Keturah, Nadia and countless people in my life unsolicited. You’re sly and two faced and I didn’t buy into your story of brotherhood long before now. 

God made and put me here not man. Try all you can you will end up where the other desperate creatures did; beneath me. 

Good luck sir

Sent from my iPad

• FROM: IKTUNE 

TO: JIMIYKEUNTAMED 
SENT: SUN, MAY 18, 2014 1:18 AM
SUBJECT: RE: SO, YOU ARE A AN ANIMAL HUH?

I guess you dont know me, If only you knew my own madness has reached the market square, you wont dare thread the path that will lead to your destruction. When I started enjoying the limelight, you were not even near a Secondary School. First cut is the deepest, you threw me under the bus and lied over and over to me who has taken all manner of insults on your behalf. You must be a bastard. If you are man enough, call me with a known number and see if I wont track you down right away

• Jim Iyke writes.

JIM IYKE
3:09 PM (1 HOUR AGO)


TO ME

Lol. I know you’re the US president. I see you require several broadcasts and platform to expose me. You re in denial Emma. You can finally stop begging and scavenging for interviews to keep your pathetic outfit afloat. I’ve finally given you relevance.  I’ve always tailored my words around you. You keep referring to Keturah. Which one? The one you tried to burn severally on phone conversations? You’re a pathological liar and that’s what sent you on exile in the first place from Nigeria. 


CNN?! Lool. My brother, you really have arrived at the proverbial bend! 

I’m too busy Emma. Lets see now one week. Two weeks. Maybe a month at worst ill forget you even exist. 


Ill relegate you to the trash can I reserve for haters. Atleast the others made their position clear from get go. 


You’re blistering and gloating now. You’ve finally convinced your warped psyche this is the best news ever. False or truth I’ve got to jump on it. Who knows you exist in the continent? t. 


The rest? Well, the rest doesn’t exist. People I don’t know nor bear no economic and emotional value in my life has never had the capability to make me loose a second of sleep. 
I’m gonna do myself a favour and direct all the mails that emanate from you to trash where the owner firmly belongs. Its Sunday. I’ve a busy week ahead. Besides FBI, IRS, navy seals and commandos all await me. 
You really are shameless Emma. 
Sent from my iPad

  

• Emma Agu writes

NRI NY 
5:02 PM (0 MINUTES AGO)


TO JIM

You made who relevant? I have done interviews with Omotola, Awilo, Ministers, senators, men and women with proven records. You local boy is telling me you are making me relevant?  Last week alone, I interviewed, Ibrahim Commassie, RTD Inspector General of Police , I also did interview with Prof Femi Mimiko, Vice Chancellor, AAU and also a member of the National Confab. Same goes with Dr. Rabi Ibrahim, Bilksu Majoro, lawyer and a well known activist, Aminu Mahmuid, General Mansur Dan Ali, to name but a few. Tomorrow, I will be interviewing Jerry Gana and Mr. Falana.  These are men and women with proven records dear James. Over half a million Nigerians living overseas tune in to listen to great interviews with great people. Your interview with me brought me no audience, no rating, no feedback. It  was zero. Your name makes my listeners to turn off their appliances. Who wants to listen to a thief and a criminal, I was trying aimlessly to rebrand his image? 


For the records, Keturah Hamilton begged me to accept you.  Keturah Hamilton would tell you, I never liked you from the start. I heard you are a thief and she told me not to judge you based on what people  say. I don’t need anyone to convince me now that you Jim Iyke, is a thief, a rouge and a criminal. You live off the sweat and hardwork of women. You have wrecked so many lives. Cursed from every angle of this world, you have been on the run since you duped a married woman you slept with who took your late mum to India and London. You came from a family of ingrates therefore, you have no  mind, no heart no feeling for anyone regardless. It was no surprise how the women you swindled gave an interview shortly after your mum’s demise, saying she never raised you well.


Your name is tainted, news about you drives away people. Ask Keturah, how people hate and loathe you.  You are a bad news.  She will tell you how many times, she had wrangling with folks who were tired of hearing or reading your name. A particular man wrote openly on my fan page , saying-Jim Iyke is bad news-Jim Iyke has squandered his opportunity.


I know folks out here who wouldn’t watch any movie you appear in for a million dollars. The only people telling you about me are rogues like you who have the same evil mindset like you.  Those folks who are equally untalented like you, would resort by any means to use others. A couple of them here, even your friend based in Dallas swindled me once. Birds of the same feather. 


Did you not tell me you were relocating to the US to live forever with Keturah Hamilton. Did you not say in my interview with you she was the best thing that happened to your life? The tape is still there maggot!   You left her as soon as you finish making all your fake promises. What about the money she gave you when you opened a so called store in ABUJA. WHAt about the money she gave you when you lied to her you wanted to buy a house?  You left her after looting her. 


After wrecking havoc to this woman’s life, leaving her for Nadia, you were not even contented with Nadia Buari that no days passes without you calling Keturah and complained against Nadia Bauri. You had a game plan that backfired, now you want to hold me responsible for your apparent downfall that started from the day you were born.

See all your mates in Nigeria and look at your life. Dude, you will run from pillar to post until your dying day. Ask T B Joshua the man who cast a spell on you about me. You were in Gabon when I started making waves at the age of 12. I have performed before 3 heads of States and also headlines President Barak Obama’s inaugural ball she he was elected.  I wanted to grant you a pass till your bury your dead, now, with your latest hit on me, I will spare no rods , no words to tell the world who you truly are. I am not responsible for your break up with Nadia Bauri. You were caught in the web of lies. Deal with it.


I will not waste my time to write you again. I am a very busy man. I don’t even have time to crosscheck all the stuff I have been sending to you.  I will issue a press release shortly. Deal with it loser. Keturah Hamilton does not want you. Nadia Bauri has left you. Deal with it!

• From: Jim Iyke

TO: IKTUNE 
SENT: SAT, MAY 17, 2014 11:53 PM
SUBJECT: RE: SO, YOU ARE A AN ANIMAL HUH?

Are you still going on about this? Is that all? In a few days I won’t even remember your last name. That’s how much I’ve trained myself to shuffle trash firmly where it belongs; in the dark recess if my mental archives!! Lol

Why are you still trying to justify yourself? Why would I hide from a mutt? You ll be so crushed when you discover what I came to the states for. This is nothing! I’m overjoyed you finally dealt your real hand. Only a retard will make you a mentor. If you were contented with your life and family why are you all up in other people’s lives to create relevance for your far from desirous one. What you have is not even a proper platform. You had to solicit help everywhere ? Lol how pathetic !

Its unfortunate you re not worth the trouble. I’ve had reason to travel to many cities of he world for the project I’m currently working on. 

I didn’t realize there was an embargo as regards where I can go or can’t go to do bizness in the states. Why are you trying to develop heart attack on my account. Who made you judge and jury? Have you considered there’s a chance even if its remotely considerable that you might be wrong? No, your hate runs too deep. Your self righteous insufferable personae has been deeply hurt. Your overestimated self importance has been questioned. 

All you do is sit down and mudsling others;Yorubas, Hausas, your fellow ibos, people that genuinely look to you for advice and guidance. 

When you reached to me. I came out cause I believed at first. But something about you didn’t ring right. I’ve honed my instincts very well Emma. Time just confirmed it!

What else do you think you owe younger ibo men. Money? A platform for image laundry and fame. You owe us your word! It means everything. In your throes of introspection a part of you will tell you I’ve done you no wrong. I’m a bereaved man trying to do my business quietly and bury the most important woman in my life. If you had any iota of emotion in you, you will honour that. I’ve wasted a great deal of energy in he past being caught up in his circle of hate you all create. I’m beyond that now. 

I was never rude. Always attentive and respectful. Even thanked God a few times for the man I thought you were. When you’re done with your attempt to wreck me what’s next? I hope you will find some satisfaction. I hope you find justification. I hope for you’re sake you won’t be staring at another empty space where you will wish you had handled matters differently. 

How well do you live your life that you so perversely without cause decide who is living less desirous lives in your eyes? Are you trying to play God? You holds you accountable? It was so easy to reach me and insult me by e mil yet you claim you couldn’t reach me upon my arrival in the states. You posted an article long before you sought out the truth. A one sided version you hurriedly put out to fulfill your desire for vendetta. 

You claim you have kids. Life is a bitch! They will run into their road blocks. People will return the favour you’ve done others a thousand fold. 

I refuse to be caught in your web. My justification is in time. Yours is in all the double agents and ass kissers cheering you. When your eminent rock bottom happens I pray the cheering continues. 

If I am to be obliterated as you all perpetuate, hasn’t it occurred to all of you why it hasn’t and won’t happen. I don’t know how I got here. Ill never know. Neither will all of you. Emma my name is IKECHUKWU. 
Its God’s engineering not man. Therefore no man can destroy God’s creation. I don’t hate you and I never will. Nobody is worth it.   I’m still here. I’m still prosperous. I’m still breathing. I’m still potty in God’s hand. I’ve no business fighting a battle that isn’t mine. 

God is in control. Why don’t we wait and see. It is well.

Solang Knowles Physically Attacks Jay Z whilst Beyonce fixes her dress?

Certainly, if you are currently in possession of a TV, A Smart Phone, A tablet, A laptop, or practically any advanced technological Device, then you are well aware of Hollywoods latest and greatest SCANDAL! A scandal involving two of the biggest stars on the planet, in the name of Bey-Z. So, whats the gist you ask? Humph... were do I begin?

TMZ has obtained the rights to a cctv video that shows Solange Knowles, little sister of Beyonce, wife of Jay-Z attacking Jay-Z at the MET GALA. Confused yet? Well, that's not all. Not only was Solange physically assaulting Jay-Z, the strangest part about it all is that Beyonce did nothing in the form of defending her husband. Okay, fine, maybe ones or twice she stood between them for a second or two, but for the three minute long video, she just stood in the corner, fixing her revealing, thousand dollar price-tagged designer dress. It is because of this that many conspiracy theories are now floating everywhere; Some accusing Jay-Z of having cheated on Beyonce, and Solange was simply defending her sister, other saying Jay-Z's connection to the HIGHLY INFAMOUS ILLUMINATI is threatening either Beyonce or Solange's son... others claiming that it is well known in the industry that Solange is suffering from Bipolar disorder and was just suffering one of her episodes.

Now, here is the creepiest part: Upon walking out of the Elevator and exiting the building,  the paparazzi at their full height were snapping pictures of the famous family. While Solange angrily stomps into their awaiting chauffeured limo, Beyonce smiles and struts for the cameras as if nothing had just happened. I mean, a full on, 32 teeth showing smile kinda smile... and all of a sudden, it hits me... Not all that glitters is Gold.

So, what do you guys think? Is the Illuminati to be blamed for this? Jay-Z's womanizing ways? Solange's Bipolar disorder? Or, is there something more going one? Let the rumor mills churn!

Bring Back Our Girls: A West African Tragedy!

Nigeria. West Africa's power house nation, colorfully highlighted by a boisterous and celebratory people. Nigeria. Land of the bountiful. Nigeria. Land of 234 missing teenage girls!

It may come to us all as a surprise that in this day and age, and to such a nation as mighty as the afore mentioned, that a disappearing act of such a magnitude is even a possibility. However, before our very eyes, in a sleepy village in Northern Nigeria, over two hundred young girls were abducted from their dorms by armed rebels, and as of right now, there is absolutely no lead (known to the public) as to where they are. Needless to say, this has created quite an uproar amongst the masses. The more seconds tick away, the more we all fear for these innocent souls. What could possibly be going on? More importantly, what are the armed forces of what is now the wealthiest nation in AFRICA doing to ensure that every single one of those girls make it back home safe and sound?

These are trying times indeed, and with all the interesting developments making the headlines of Nigeria's "Baby Making Camps" and "Demonic Ritualistic Gatherings" one can must only remind themselves to think as positively as possible, in hopes that those children will eventually be rescued from their captors. From our lips to God's ears... Right?

Apologies Ahoy!

What excuse can I possibly give this time for not haven't made even one single blog post for close to four months now? Laziness? Hardwork... Unwillingness to seat my African booty down and put a few thoughts to paper? Honestly, the first suggestion is the most appropriate.
Anywho, I refuse to let KongosssaWahaha die, so, during those trying moments when I have to work hard at finding the simplest of inspiring moments to gather my thoughts together, I will make sure to post them for you guys to see.
Oh, and did I mention, we now have over 2k readers?! Whoop Whoop!!

Introducing: Lupita Nyong'o: A Woman Fighting For Her Skin.

So, every once in a while, A powerhouse figure steps forth, daring to redefine what it is we recognize as societal norms, with their own renditions of normalcy. When this tide occurs, there are only two options, either our Hero is Shut down and cast out, or they are praised, loved and adored. The latter is the case for our Kenyan beauty, Lupita Nyong'o.
This dark skinned Kenyan beauty has soared beyond the simplicities of just being a known face, into the stratosphere of super stardom, but for some reason, the white man seems to be celebrating her success more than her own people.
Why do blacks always feel the need to self sabotage? It's getting ridiculous how desperate we blacks are to bring our own people down... and yes, I am not just speeaking of the Black American community, but the African community as well. I was browsing the internet, trying to learn more about this sensational actress Lupita Nyong'o from Kenya, whom I have loved for YEARS after watching her on Shuga, but is just now getting her shine thanks to 12 years a slave, and was surprised to find so many people either insulting her beautiful dark skin, or tying the facts of her success to the fact that her father is a Kenyan senator, insinuating her bought her fame. How self hating does one have to be, not to realize and appreciate the success of his kin? Are we to also insinuate that Ms. Nyong'os' father bought her all the critical acclaims she has recieved from every role she has undertaken? What about the Golden Globe nomination? The Oscars? The Critics Choice Awards? When will we Africans learn to draw the line between absurdities, facts and fiction?

It is a sad day indeed, when an individuals hardwork, perseverance, and mastery of their craft is easily summarized in a few words such as: "Senator pikin, now I see where the hype , funds and high push came from"

Your thoughts?

New Beginnings: That Time of the Year... Again.

           It is that time of the year again... Yes, I mean that time! Remember that time? When you promise yourself that you would stop eating all those unhealthy foods and drinking so much soda? That time when you promise yourself that you won't open your legs for "just anybody" because that was the old you, and the new you does not seek instantaneous pleasure, but a life-long relationship. It is that time of the year when all our hearts are filled to the brim with hope aplenty. Unfortunately, as the blinding daze of the new year fades, So does our desire to make ourselves better. To take just one more step towards the right direction. To eat healthy and lose those few pounds, or spend more time with our wives instead of  "chilling with the guys".
          Yes, indeed, it s that time of the year again... But, the beautiful thing about being present to witness this whole process all over again, is that as long as one alive and well, there is nothing we can't do. There are no mountains we can't climb. No boulders we can't move! That's the beauty of a new start, and of endless possibilities. So, make this year count! Go out! Pray, Live life, find love, break hearts, and learn lessons, because when it's all said and done, isn't that what it's all about? Being here? Being Alive?
           The only new years resolution worth having is that which permits you to be human. So, in our journey to learning what it really means to be a being of our kind, we must never forget the most important part of it all. The art of just being Alive!
            Happy New Years, and May the Lord be forever in your favor!

Must Read: Brad Pitt's Love Letter to Angelina Jolie!

Brad Pitt wrote a beautiful letter to his  WIFE Angelina Jolie, that I realized I just could not afford to not share. As a young man, I myself can only hope to find something like this one day. A true romance if you will. It's good to know that a man of his calibre is willing to be so open about working hard to make his relationship work with his wife. Yes, I said WIFE! That's the part that confused me too at first, did they already tie to knot? Or is it that they are one of the liberal few who don't believe one has to have a grand celebratory even in order to validate their commitments to being with each other? I seem to be leaning more towards the latter. Anywho.. read away, and may you too find love worth writing about!

My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute. I gave her a lot of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.

And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.

If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.

-Brad Pitt

Merry Christmas to All!

It is with a warm and Light heart, that I wish you all a Merry Christmas. As the end of the year draws near, let us not forget all the beauty in the world we have come to experience. It is always a privilege to be able to look back and reminisce on the beauty of being alive. A privilege it is indeed. In this time of celebration, all I ask is that each and every single one of us does not forget what Christmas really is all about... LOVE, FORGIVENESS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, JESUS!

The Reward of Success: Genevieve Nnaji and Richard Mofe-Damijo share the screen once more!

Genevieve Nnaji being escorted by RMD at the Nollywood at 20 event.

So, a few weeks ago while surfing the web, I stumbled upon a most riveting picture of Ms. Genevieve Nnaji and Mr. Richard Mofe-Damijo all smiles and holding hands at the Nollywood  At 20 event that just recently passed a few weeks ago in Lagos. I was so happy because truth be told, these two icons have given us Nollywood followers some very good memories with films like Keeping Faith, Love, and Critical Decision, amongst others, yet, as time went on, they have become a rarity in films. Of course, this seems to have only increases their value exponentially, because as Luck would have it, Both RMD and Genevieve have landed ambassadorial deals as the faces of POLO Luxury watches. I was so enticed by the brilliance of these two icons on my computer screen that I barely noticed the other celebrities featured in the advert like Ojy Okpe, Eku Edewor and Ene Maya Lawani.

Anywho, enough Grammar! Here's the video! Enjoy!

Genevieve Nnaji and D'banj: Is that love in the air I smell?

So, it is no secret that Genevieve Nnaji and D'banj had a little ding-a-ling for awhile, considering how much the Koko master himself has been gisting about the affair. On several occasions, D'banj has been noted to speak on how much he loved Genevieve and how much he would love nothing more than to make her his wife. It is also no secret that Mr. Endowed is nothing short of a man whore... Okay, sorry... let me rephrase that statement.... It is also no secret that Mr. Endowed is known internationally to have private shows with groupies, be it in Nigeria or where ever his concerts take him around the world. According to sources, this was the main reason they could never last more than a few months without breaking up. This cycle reportedly went on for a few years before Genevieve finally took herself out of the equation for good.
 It seems after all his begging and pleading and public outbursts of romantic declarations aimed at the Queen B, the couple might have reconciled their differences, and are presently giving the whole relationship thing another try.
Humph, D'banj, my brother... no fuck up this time again o.

FIRST "FICTION FRIDAY" POST!!!

It has been a dream of mine for a long time to start a section of my blog titled FICTION FRIDAY, but due to several set backs, I have been barely able to update this page for two months, not to talk of creating a whole new fictitious story line. However, thanks to the miracles of God, I have managed to find time to get to work, so... here goes nothing...

(You can also read on: http://www.wattpad.com/story/9508360-the-hierarchy-of-things and http://www.nairaland.com/1500295/heirarchy-things#19225558; dont forget to comment, like and subscribe!!!)

THE HEIRACHY OF THINGS

CHAPTER ONE: THE ART OF BEING AN SAF.

-Rita-

Most people would think the hardest part of being a single, twenty-seven year old SAF (Single African Female) would fall somewhere between parental and societal disapprovals more than anything else, and they would be correct. Unless, they so happen to have friends like mine, then society as a whole has nothing on these loud-mouthed, incessantly irritating pair. I knew something was up when I got the call from Chioma, asking me to drop by for "friday movie night" two hours ago

"Rita! Listen to me, I don't care what you say, every woman needs a man in their life! Haba, abi you want die virgin?"  says Nattie, carelessly spewing rice from her mouth right back into the plate. At thirty, it is safe to say that Nattie has had her fair share of whirlwind romances. She was always the wild one, and while most of the men she dates find this to be her greatest asset, (that, and her body. I mean, seriously, the girl is the walking, talking definition of sex appeal...) her unconventional ideologies on marriage usually have them running back to their mamas to find them innocent,

uncomplicated village girls to settle down with.

"Nattie, why are we talking about this again? If I knew 'Friday movie night' meant 'let’s grill Rita night' I would have stayed in my apartment o."

"But she has a point," chips in Chioma, "it's been over five months since you and Ade called it quits, it's time to move on."

"Please, help me tell her, Chichi! It's like the girl wants to die a virgin." Chioma shifts uncomfortably in her seat.  Very much like her name, Chioma IS the traditional SAF, she believes in the hierarchy of things. First, you get your bachelors, then you find a man with a good salary, you get married, have sex (for the first time), have babies that look like your husband, then die and go to heaven. But, unlike me, Chioma had done the did at the age of fifteen with her secondary school sweetheart who had dumped her literarily four days afterwards. Swearing never to sleep with another man again, Chioma closed her legs and focused on her studies... until she met Ferdinand, barely a month later... And when that ended three weeks later, she swore off men... Again... Story of her life.

"There's nothing wrong with her virginity!" Chioma spits back, then immediately realizing how defensive she had come across, she quickly fills her mouth with rice. I know this might sound selfcentered, but I'm more than certain that Chioma is envious of me. Or, better still, I think it is my virginity she is so envious of. As we sat in silence, Nattie and I holding back our giggles at Chiomas outburst, the front door opens, and in walks in Noella. Twenty-two years old, and strikingly beautiful, Noella, like her sister, Nattie, is a professional husband snatcher. Okay, fine, maybe not professionally, but the girl seems to only be attracted by married men with lots of cheddar and very little cheese.

"Who died?" She says, referring to the awkward silence in the room.

"Not who, what... Chiomas virginity..." Nattie looks at me and winks, as hard as I try, I can't hold back the giggles that follow. Seconds later, we're all laughing like drunken lunatics. Ah! The power of Nattie's rumbustious humor. No matter how bad the situation is, she always knows just what chords to play to bring upon that sense of tranquility.

"How pathetic. Three singles seating at home on a Friday evening, when your mates are out there fishing." Noella says as she hurriedly takes of her heels and dashes for her bedroom. Nattie sucks her teeth in a way only an irritated  African woman can. The room is filled with guilt-cladded silence as we all try to pretend Noella hadn't just hit a sore spot. As much as I hate to admit it, the little wench was right. It was pathetic on so many levels, our predicament. You'd think as women in our prime, we would have so much more to do than sit and throw jabs at each other’s love lives... Or lack thereof.

  The sound of clicking heels on Egyptian tiles suddenly envelops the room as Noella reemerges. Now dressed in an upper-thigh length, animal print dress, hair pulled up, lips rouged;  there was no questioning that something hot was going down tonight.

"Whoside you dey go?"  Nattie asks.

"Elysium, the new club that just opened downtown. You know my friend Sophie, right? It's her birthday today, so we're going there to party." Gushes Noella, proudly.

 "Good luck getting in. I heard the place is stupid exclusive because of all the celebs that frequent there." Chioma snickers.

"Yeah, and it's supposed to cost a fortune, too." adds Nattie.  Apparently, I'm the only one who is yet to hear of this place, Elysuim.

Noella folds her arms defiantly, sticking out here nose as though she were royalty, addressing commoners. "My friend Sophie is dating this bush-faller guy called, Eli, or something, and he's from some very rich family. In fact, he even booked a whole section in the club  for the event. Now, THAT is super exclusive!"

"That explains the dress." Nattie tries mumbling to herself, but we all hear her loud and clear.

"What, this old thing?" Noella twirls around, showing off.

"Well, my butt does look good in it doesn't it. Besides, unlike you three, I intend on snatching me a rich man now that I'm at my prime. Wouldn't want to still be trying my luck at twenty-seven." Her eyes dart towards me, she smirks. Wench!

"That's it!" Barks Nattie bouncing off her chair, "Chioma, Rita, I believe we just got a somewhat indirect... but still relevant invite to the hottest club in town, and I'd be damned if I miss it!"

-Eli-

Kingsley paces about impatiently in the monumental living room, glancing between his wrist watch and the clock mounted on the wall. I don't get this guy; he's always so fidgeting for no reason. If you didn't know him, and you saw him during one of his episodes, you'd think he had just been told the world was about to end. I slowly begin my climb down, praying he'd be too lost in thought to turn around and spot me. One step at a time, I go, until I'm finally at the bottom. Then, I sneak my way 'til I'm standing right behind him. I place my hand on his shoulder, and the next thing I know, Kingsley is halfway to the door. He turns back abruptly, and comes to an instantaneous halt when he realizes it’s me. Idiot.

I bend over, convulsing with laughter.

"Dammit, Eli! You almost scared the shit out of me!" He fumes, face twisted in resignation.

Wiping away the tears on my face, I manage to catch my breath. "I swear, Eli, you have to grow up! This isn't even funny anymore!" He continues, but with more amazement than anger this time.

"Nope, growing up is overrated."  I say, as the last hints of hysteria evaporate from my system. "So, shall we?" I ask as I fix myself up, and start heading for the door. "We have a party to attend, after tall." I can feel Kingsley's eyes glaring through me. It's been close to seven years now, since I first met him in secondary school, he and my elder sister have been together since before then, but with the exception of me, only four others knew of their relationship.

"Geez, Eli, how long does it take you to get dressed? We asked everyone to be there by nine, it's already fifteen minutes past." Poor guy... And I do mean that both figuratively and literarily. Unlike me, Kingsley wasn't born to certain... privileges. He is indeed a self-made man, but despite his success as an up and coming business magnet, he still struggles to fit in with our kind of crowd. Either he's always too early or too underdressed, or too overdressed... He just doesn't get it, and lately, I think it has started to really affect him. Even though Kingsley would never admit it, his loving my sister might just prove to be too much of a risk for someone so safe and practical as he.

"What if we get there and they refuse to let us in? What then" Kingsley grumbles to himself.

"They cannot NOT let us in, King. We rented a section of the club remember? We're VIP, man. VIP never waits in line. You should know that by now." Immediately regret the words as they come out, I bite myself to refrain from making matters worse. Way to go Eli, the guy is already a nervous wreck, why don't you add already mounting guilt to top it all off?!

Kingsley stands silently. I can tell my words stung. How to fix this... Aha! Cars! Pulling my keys out of my pocket, I manually unlock my car, making sure the beeping sound chimes twice.

"King, you know I'm all about humility, but just for this one night, can we take my car?" My car being a 2010 white Porsche Panamera, Kingsley always insists we take his Honda civic on outings, for fear of seeming too pretentious.

 "Eli, no!" His declaration is weak, I can tell he is tempted, I push further. "Listen, I'll even let you drive." I dangle the keys before him, and watch as he physically and mentally succumbs.

He reaches over to take the keys, but I quickly pull back.

 "No no no, I will drive us to Elysium, you can drive us back, seeing as you won't be drinking. Besides, like you said, we're running late... and you drive like my grandmother."

He glowers, looking more like a scorned pre-teen than a man in his mid-twenties. "Fine!" He says moments later, and hops into the passenger side of the car. I follow. "All those people are waiting. What if some of them already left?"

I sit quietly, pretending to consider the possibility that a bunch of hot single individuals who find themselves in a VIP lounge on a Friday night, in the hottest night club in town would skip out on free booze just because their invitee is absent.

 I smile.

 "Not a chance." I turn on the engine, making sure to indulge in its soft purr, as it comes to life. The worst that could happen is there are more people in attendance than intended...but, that's always a good thing, right?

-Desmond-

It's always a pain attending parties like these; Girls in cheap skirts, acting like they're worth more than they actually are. It's sad really, with the right bank account they actually stand a chance of not looking so ghastly... Oh, well, I guess even God knows some people just aren't worth his blessings.

 I push my way through the packed room, hoping to see even one dignified face, amongst the herd, seeing as this party was being thrown by one of the towns golden boys, I was expecting to see some diamond girls. Instead, the rank of cheap silver and fake gold fills the air. Well, what did I expect? The idiot decided to shack up with some village girl, and of course, trash talks to trash and hangs with trash. Hence, the room full of trash. Two more sips from the piss-like bottle of beer, and I've had enough!

 I head for the exit door.

"Happy birthday!" The birthday girl, dressed in a fitted African print is surrounded by adoring friends. Not bad. The girl is passable... If you're into that whole "rich kid finds poor girl, and changes her life forever"  kind of fairy-tale crap. As I take another sip from my glass, I am suddenly hit by this wave of sweaty armpits so intense that I immediately realize, this couldn't just be a really smelly person. This must be someone's perfume? Jesus, I need to get out of here. Now!

-Noella-

The worst part about not being single is being at events like these, seeing the tremendous potential in the attendees, but knowing you are not free to splurge however you see fit.

"Oh my Goodness, this place is jamming" Nattie exclaims as her head swings back and forth, taking in the grandeur of Elysium. She turns to me with her million dollar smile and says, "thank you for inviting us."

I feign a smile back. See, the thing is, I don't mind her coming along, I just really hate the way she clings to me when we go out. Nattie is one of those women who knows she's beautiful, and is comfortable with it. Why is that a problem? Nothing, exactly. It's just... I need my own space now, you know. I don't need her always drawing the attention to her, and forcing me into the background like she always does. But, things are different now, her age is starting to show, her fingers, her lips, they're all starting to show signs of her thirty years of the pressures that come with being dazzlingly beautiful...

"Now, where's the birthday girl? It's best we give her her present first, before we start gulping down her alcohol." Nattie says as she takes the plastic bag from Chiomas hand and thrusts it towards me. She had insisted we stop by the supermarket to buy Sophie a gift, even with all my protestation. I glare at her, embarrassed not just because no one else seems to be carrying a brand less gift bag, but also because I knew what was IN the gift bag. You want to guess? It was... Teddy bear! A freaking teddy bear for a girl turning 21 years old! I bite my tongue to suppress the shriek that tries to escape my lips because of the thought. I feign another smile as I say, "why don't you guys make yourselves comfortable, while I go look for the birthday girl." I quickly submerge myself into the crowd, before any of them can protest. I look back, and sigh with relief as I realize I have indeed lost them in the crowd. Now, I just need to find my soon-to-be-boyfriend. Oh, Desmond, where are you?

-Nattie-

As time passes, I find it gets harder and harder to understand Noella. See, the way ei just take style disappear, as if she's ashamed of being seen with me, or something. We used to be so close, Ella and I. Almost, inseparable. But not anymore. In fact, lately, I get the nagging feeling that she's been making a conscious effort to ignore me., and everything from her scarcity from home, and the the one worded answers she gives for every question seems to only point towards that direction... It couldn't be because of... No. That's absurd. That was such a long time ago, surely, she still isn't holding any grudges, right?

"Nattie, are you okay?" I turn to look at Chioma,  pulled out of my trance. She and Rita are starring at me inquiringly. I nod.

 "Uh-huh..." It's Rita this time. "So, what do you think?"

"Think about what?" I'm confused.

"Aha! So, you haven't been listening to us, this whole time, after all!" Chioma pushes. She's right. I haven't been listening. Since, Ella's uncomfortable dissapearing-in-the-crowd act about thirty minutes ago, I haven't really been thinking straight, i find my mind dancing somewhere between bobbing my head to the latest coupe-Decale being played by the DJ; listening to Rita and Chiomas random bursts of fashion critiquing of the other party guests... and Ella.

Either way, I try my luck.

"Oh, yeah, I know. That guy really shouldn't pair baggy jeans with a tuxedo jacket and dress shoes. Just doesn't look right." From the look on their faces, I know immediately, that I just flunked the test.

"Darling, we stopped tongue-lashing that guy about five minutes ago, we're now talking about that one doing the Azonto over there." Chioma says, jerking her head towards the present victim of our fashion police. Oh, God! Get this, the girl in question is wearing a bright pink mini dress, black leather knee-high stripper boots, and to top it all off, a brightly bleached blond wig. I throw my head back as my whole body is quickly taken over by gurgling laughter. Leave it to my girls to take me from depressive to hysterics in a matter of seconds.

There's a vibration on the table.

-Rita-

ANGELA.

 What now? Every time she calls, I am guaranteed the extinction of all the remaining minutes on my recharge card. It's like she can sense when I have just added minutes, because twenty-four hours cannot pass afterwards without her blowing up my phone. Why don't I just ignore her calls, then? Well, AUNTY Angela is one of my mother’s closest, and nosiest friends. One of those women that makes it her business to know everyone else's wahala, which I'm guessing is how a woman hundreds of miles away in the village is well enough informed that the company I work for has open internships for university students/potential employees every year this month, and as you must have guessed, aunty Angela has a son who fits perfectly into this description... Well, almost. The thing is, Thomas, the son in question, is as smart as a block of cement. Need I say more?

The phone stops ringing.

"Your aunt again?" Chioma says, knowing fully well what the answer to her question is. I nod, nonetheless.

"Just tell the old lady that her son did not qualify for the job. Why are you letting her terrorize you?" Nattie adds. As if on cue, the phone starts buzzing again, this time, I don't even need to look down at it to know who it is... You guessed it, aunty Angela! I snatch the phone from the table, and start hurriedly making my way outside, partly because the music was loud... But, mostly because I fear to imagine what aunty Angela would tell my mother... And seventy-five percent of the village if she so much as suspected that I was at a club, especially  considering  I'm about to tell her her son does not qualify for the internship. Gossip hath no spreader like an angry African woman.

There's a cool breeze in the evening air. I answer. 

"Hello, Ah! Rita! How are you doing?" Aunty Angela saws before I even get the chance to give a HELLO. "I have been trying to call you all evening, but you won't answer, so I said to myself, Angela, leave Rita alone, she must not have left the office at seven o'clock today like she always does all weekends." How in Gods name does this woman know my work schedule?!

She continues: "Rita! Is that music I hear? Are you at a party? At this time? Humph! I hope you have not joined all those useful city girls, jumping around from one party to another, from one man to another..." And so it begins...

-Desmond-

"No, aunty Angela, it's not like that. You know  I will help Thomas if I could. He's like my own little brother... No, aunty Angela, that's not how I meant it, I just meant he's like my family not that I don't think he's man enough for the job... No, aunty Angela, I'm not trying to say you don't know what you're talking about... No aunty Angela, I'm not using technique to call you stupid..." And she goes on and on and on. Whoever this aunty Angela is, she's definitely working on my nerves, and I'm not even the one listening to her absurdities. Nevertheless, this mysterious woman keeps talking to her on the phone with so much—respect. Weird.

I had just stepped out for a quick cigar to wash out the stench from that cheap perfume; Nothing like a good Cuban cigar to restore the senses. I don't understand why poor people are so bent on pretending to be something they're not. It's not that I have anything against self-improvement or anything, but, there're ways you can do it without seeming so desperate--like her. This mystery woman; Dressed in a red body-hugging gown, with a simple gold chain against her chest. Nothing too severe, just the right amount of sexy and classy. She holds the cellphone away from her ear, and I hear snippets of the shrieking voice of whoever is on the other end of the cellphone.

"You know you can just hang up right?" I hear myself say, without knowing what had come over me. Mysterious woman jumps backwards, startled. I can feel her eyes as the measure me up, halfway scared, half way intrigued. The way one looks at a snake, not knowing whether I was a threat, or not. After a few seconds of a good look-over, she straightens up and exhales loudly as it dawns on her that I am not a threat.

"Excuse me?... Where you talking to me?" She manages.

"I said 'you know you can just hand up, right?'" I hate repeating myself.

"Have you been listening in on my conversation this whole time?" Looking more intrigued than irritated. I nod.

"You have no right..."

"I don't know if you have properly taken in your surroundings, but you are standing outside a club...If you wanted a conservative conversation, I doubt this is the ideal location. Besides, I was here before you came along, so..."

With the exceptions of the faded sounds of Gyptian's HOLD YOU  Playing in the background, and the honks, and chatter of Downtown traffic—and the barely audible shrieking of aunty Angela through her cellphone receiver--the silence between us is intense yet subtle, like the feeling you get biting into a warm croissant after skiing on the Appalachians trails.

She smiles.

 "I can't do that. Not if I ever want to visit my parents again."

I stand up and start walking towards her. She steps back. I lift both hands up, as a sign of peace. I take another step, she doesn't move. Another step— then another.

She stands still, as if transfixed by the chilly African evening, until we are just a few steps apart.

I take the phone from her, she attempts a protest, but is silenced by my index finger.

I press the hang up Nottingham on the phone, and give her back her phone.

"There. If I have to listen to that back and forth banter a moment more, I think I'll go crazy." I say, making sure my voice is low enough to be mysterious, but not so much so that I sound like an intimidated schoolboy.

She shakes her head, as she tries fighting the smile that quickly creeps unto her face.

"My name is Desmond Atah-Bate, you can just call me Desmond for short."

I send forth my hand, my palms now air dried from the sweatiness of warmth of the cigar.

"Rita." She says, taking my hand, smiling from ear to ear, as she finally allows herself to stop fighting the pull of my warm hands, and beaconing charm.

As if she ever even stood a chance.